Crystal Wright | April 8, 2025 | Divorce
Grief can occur in response to any loss. It is a universal process that allows the brain to cope with the emotions stemming from the loss. Ultimately, after processing those feelings, the person is positioned to move forward.
An influential psychiatrist named Elisabeth Kuebler-Ross introduced the stages of grief in 1969. Her work identified five stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. While Kübler-Ross’s original model focused on five stages, later interpretations and research combined some stages and added new ones, resulting in a seven-stage model that includes stages like “turning the corner” and “reconstruction.”
Bear in mind that everyone experiences grief differently. As applied to divorce, these stages might manifest in the following ways:
Stage 1: Denial
Denial is the mind’s reaction to the shock of loss. Many people find it difficult to accept highly upsetting events.
Denial can take many forms, including the following:
- Disbelief at the loss
- Rejection of the idea of the loss
- Numbness in response to the loss
As you go through the divorce, you might experience denial at several points, including the initial stages of the breakup, when the divorce papers are filed and served, and when the divorce is finalized.
Stage 2: Guilt And Pain
Guilt happens when you dwell on the relationship and identify ways to blame yourself for the loss. This stage is also where you may experience the pain of the loss. This pain may contribute to your guilt because you may feel that your extreme feelings are a burden to those around you.
Stage 3: Anger And Bargaining
Anger is a natural reaction to loss. You may feel frustration, annoyance, or outright rage. Importantly, you might not only feel anger toward your spouse. You might be angry with a higher power, people you blame for the breakup, or even yourself.
This anger feeds attempts to bargain. You could feel so miserable that you would offer anything for relief from your situation.
Stage 4: Depression
The most logical stage of the grief process is profound sadness. However, this stage is referred to as “depression” because you cannot just snap out of it. Sadness could occupy your conscious and subconscious thoughts.
You might feel other symptoms of depression along with your sadness, such as a lack of motivation and focus that interferes with your ability to work or study. You may isolate yourself from others and experience feelings of hopelessness.
Stage 5: Turning The Corner
You turn the corner when your normal life starts to return. Your thoughts about the loss are less intrusive, your mood calmer, and your thinking clearer. You start feeling more positive about your life and might even start seeing some benefits to moving beyond the end of your marriage.
If your divorce proceeding is still pending, this is when you might see the benefits of a marital settlement agreement. While you might still harbor hard feelings about your marriage and the divorce, you can also see the benefits of healing.
Stage 6: Reconstruction
Reconstruction occurs when you adjust your life to your future without your spouse. You establish new routines and might even make plans to travel or go out socially. While others may compliment you for moving on, you may still feel some residual sadness about your loss and fear of the future.
Stage 7: Acceptance
The final stage represents more than acceptance of the loss. It also includes positivity about the future. You feel like you can move on and realize the divorce could give you the freedom and happiness you might have missed during your marriage.
Moving Through The Stages
Divorce is upsetting and stressful. However, grieving your marriage can help you cope with the negative feelings you have and help you emerge from the process optimistic about the future.
Contact Our Attorneys for a Free Consultation
Navigating the complexities of child custody can be overwhelming. At Crystal Wright Law, LLC, we understand that every family is unique and are committed to helping you find the best solution for your situation. Our experienced family law attorneys can provide the guidance and support you need to make informed decisions. Don’t face these challenges alone. Schedule a free consultation with Crystal Wright Law, LLC, to discuss your options and learn more about how we can help.
Contact us today to take the first step toward a brighter future for you and your family.
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